1 00:00:06,268 --> 00:00:08,258 -Ooh, what's going on? -Uh, Sam and Jay 2 00:00:08,259 --> 00:00:10,139 are on high alert for another Christmas possession, 3 00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:11,503 so they're playing it safe and not 4 00:00:11,504 --> 00:00:12,879 going near any electronics this year. 5 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,174 Which I'm trying not to take personally. 6 00:00:15,175 --> 00:00:16,946 I'm the reason your mother-in-law 7 00:00:16,947 --> 00:00:18,950 likes you now, you ingrate. 8 00:00:18,951 --> 00:00:20,744 MARK: So you just want me to plug this 9 00:00:20,745 --> 00:00:22,151 -Christmas village in? -SAMANTHA: Uh-huh. 10 00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:24,348 -That's right. -Better safe than sorry. 11 00:00:24,349 --> 00:00:26,126 This puppy draws a lot of current. 12 00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:27,484 You know I'm gonna have to charge you my regular rate. 13 00:00:27,485 --> 00:00:28,865 Plus the holiday surcharge. 14 00:00:28,959 --> 00:00:30,590 Yes, we are aware of that. 15 00:00:32,831 --> 00:00:34,430 Alberta, what are you doing? 16 00:00:34,431 --> 00:00:36,526 I'm getting behind Mark in case he gets shocked and thrown back. 17 00:00:36,527 --> 00:00:38,036 You're trying to possess him? 18 00:00:38,037 --> 00:00:40,397 But this is our first Christmas together as a couple. 19 00:00:40,398 --> 00:00:41,737 Oh, we'll be together. 20 00:00:41,872 --> 00:00:43,369 I'll just be in Mark. 21 00:00:43,504 --> 00:00:46,011 Man, it would be so cool to possess someone. 22 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:49,004 I've had the munchies for, like, half a century. 23 00:00:49,072 --> 00:00:52,176 I'm a pacifist but I'd murder somebody for a Pringle. 24 00:00:52,278 --> 00:00:54,515 Okay, here goes nothing. 25 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,883 Mm... 26 00:00:58,985 --> 00:01:00,086 Huh. 27 00:01:00,222 --> 00:01:02,551 Damn it! Mama wanted a Sazerac. 28 00:01:02,552 --> 00:01:04,324 Okay, so I'll send you guys a bill. 29 00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:05,689 -Merry Christmas, Mark. -Mm-hmm. 30 00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:07,496 -Look, Trevor, way in the back. -Mm? 31 00:01:07,497 --> 00:01:09,465 The orthodontist has a little menorah in the window. 32 00:01:09,466 --> 00:01:12,236 TREVOR: I want to say that's an offensive stereotype, 33 00:01:12,302 --> 00:01:15,405 but he looks a lot like Dr. Rosenblatt. 34 00:01:15,540 --> 00:01:17,604 ? ? 35 00:01:20,471 --> 00:01:22,275 NANCY: This dope. 36 00:01:22,377 --> 00:01:24,781 Furiously buying gifts on December 23rd 37 00:01:24,916 --> 00:01:26,512 that can be here by tomorrow. 38 00:01:26,615 --> 00:01:29,282 It's like this every year. When's he gonna learn? 39 00:01:29,384 --> 00:01:31,715 Okay, you are not gonna believe this. 40 00:01:31,817 --> 00:01:34,227 I just got off the phone with the publisher, and 41 00:01:34,323 --> 00:01:36,157 apparently, a booker on All Day USA 42 00:01:36,158 --> 00:01:38,064 listened to my Todd Pod interview, 43 00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:40,257 and he wants to include my book in a segment 44 00:01:40,393 --> 00:01:41,791 on last-minute gift ideas. 45 00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:45,266 (gasps) It's crazy how long some people wait. 46 00:01:45,267 --> 00:01:46,806 He didn't get you the Jenni Kayne sweater 47 00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:48,270 'cause it was already sold out. 48 00:01:48,271 --> 00:01:50,501 Hope you enjoy your Best Buy gift card. 49 00:01:50,603 --> 00:01:52,469 Samantha, this is huge for our book. 50 00:01:52,604 --> 00:01:55,112 Me- a stocking stuffer. Huzzah! 51 00:01:55,214 --> 00:01:57,577 This is incredible, babe. I'm so proud of you. 52 00:01:57,578 --> 00:02:00,151 And we ghosts shall be able to witness the interview 53 00:02:00,152 --> 00:02:02,117 in person, for it shall take place here, 54 00:02:02,118 --> 00:02:04,254 in the mansion that I built. 55 00:02:04,323 --> 00:02:06,716 I mean, you didn't actually do any of the labor. 56 00:02:06,717 --> 00:02:08,620 I married the man that signed the checks 57 00:02:08,621 --> 00:02:10,224 that paid for the gruel that fueled 58 00:02:10,225 --> 00:02:11,545 those young child workers. 59 00:02:11,591 --> 00:02:13,830 Hm. Sort of a sad little nursery rhyme. 60 00:02:13,965 --> 00:02:16,101 I'm so nervous and so excited. 61 00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:19,334 I mean, national television. What am I gonna wear? 62 00:02:19,469 --> 00:02:22,132 Maybe see what they have at the women's department 63 00:02:22,234 --> 00:02:24,033 at Best Buy. 64 00:02:24,034 --> 00:02:26,843 (instrumental "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" playing) 65 00:02:26,844 --> 00:02:28,474 It's so cozy. 66 00:02:28,475 --> 00:02:30,577 Everyone has hot cocoa in Christmastown. 67 00:02:30,578 --> 00:02:33,509 Mm. Even that baby. That don't seem safe. 68 00:02:33,644 --> 00:02:35,653 -Hm. -Thor have questions. 69 00:02:35,788 --> 00:02:38,755 It about gift for Flower. 70 00:02:38,857 --> 00:02:40,526 ALBERTA: What the hell? 71 00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,084 Whoa. Did I do that? 72 00:02:42,152 --> 00:02:44,742 Step back for a second, Thor. I want to see something. 73 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,530 Okay, now come closer again. 74 00:02:49,328 --> 00:02:50,799 -(gasps) -Whoa. 75 00:02:50,868 --> 00:02:52,333 This is wild. 76 00:02:52,334 --> 00:02:54,073 Thor, your ghost power must be interacting 77 00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:56,365 with the electrical grid in Christmastown. 78 00:02:56,501 --> 00:02:58,973 Yes. Thor feel power 79 00:02:59,075 --> 00:03:00,905 surging through body. 80 00:03:03,782 --> 00:03:05,016 -Ow! -(laughs) 81 00:03:05,017 --> 00:03:06,480 Okay, let's get you away from this thing 82 00:03:06,481 --> 00:03:07,651 before you burn down the whole house. 83 00:03:07,652 --> 00:03:08,882 Yeah. 84 00:03:08,883 --> 00:03:11,516 Wait, what were you asking? Something about a... 85 00:03:11,517 --> 00:03:13,049 Christmas gift for Flower? 86 00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:16,257 Yeah, I really want to wow her, but not know what to get. 87 00:03:16,258 --> 00:03:17,689 Well, what'd you get her last year? 88 00:03:17,690 --> 00:03:20,061 Coupon for intercourse. And candle. 89 00:03:20,196 --> 00:03:21,964 So, yeah, bar set pretty high. 90 00:03:22,066 --> 00:03:23,969 Okay. Has Flower mentioned 91 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:25,905 anything in particular that she wants? 92 00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:28,636 Mm, world peace. And also food. 93 00:03:28,704 --> 00:03:32,168 She often mention how she have munchies for many years. 94 00:03:32,169 --> 00:03:34,146 ALBERTA: Well, unfortunately, there's no way to enjoy food 95 00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:36,813 or Sazeracs short of possessing a Living. 96 00:03:36,915 --> 00:03:38,676 -Mm. -Interesting. 97 00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:40,446 So, you're saying Thor should help Flower 98 00:03:40,447 --> 00:03:41,947 possess Living for Christmas. 99 00:03:41,948 --> 00:03:43,515 (scoffs quietly) I mean, if you could pull that off, 100 00:03:43,516 --> 00:03:45,218 that'd be a pretty amazing gift. 101 00:03:45,353 --> 00:03:47,983 Yes! Then it is decided. 102 00:03:47,984 --> 00:03:50,326 Thor will get Flower in Living for Christmas. 103 00:03:50,327 --> 00:03:54,090 And sex coupon. 'Cause tradition. 104 00:03:55,561 --> 00:03:57,392 -Hello, all. -(all exclaim) 105 00:03:57,494 --> 00:03:58,863 Every time. 106 00:03:58,965 --> 00:04:01,336 You have got to learn how to enter a room, woman. 107 00:04:01,438 --> 00:04:03,909 Oh, I see it's not just the downstairs. 108 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:06,078 This room also reeks of Christmas. 109 00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:09,580 -What are you so upset about? -Uh, the tree, 110 00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:11,182 the decorations, 111 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,049 the general merriment that is so clearly afoot. 112 00:04:14,151 --> 00:04:16,847 Wait, the merriment is a foot? 113 00:04:16,916 --> 00:04:20,422 Huh. So Steven Stills had a merriment fetish. 114 00:04:20,524 --> 00:04:23,453 I'm confused. Don't Puritans love Christmas? 115 00:04:23,588 --> 00:04:25,792 Puritans love Christmas? 116 00:04:25,894 --> 00:04:29,128 Oh, I would laugh, t'were that not a trick the devil uses 117 00:04:29,264 --> 00:04:30,797 to enter thine body. 118 00:04:30,899 --> 00:04:33,903 No, there's only one proper way to celebrate Christmas. 119 00:04:34,005 --> 00:04:35,236 Which is not at all. 120 00:04:35,338 --> 00:04:36,973 You see, Puritans believed that 121 00:04:37,108 --> 00:04:39,410 to revel was a gateway to sin. 122 00:04:39,411 --> 00:04:41,978 Buckle up, it's time for another depressing history lesson. 123 00:04:41,979 --> 00:04:43,815 So, on Christmas, 124 00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:45,816 there was no mirth in sight. 125 00:04:45,918 --> 00:04:48,115 Shops remained open, 126 00:04:48,217 --> 00:04:50,121 work continued unabated, 127 00:04:50,122 --> 00:04:52,122 and you would be fined for doing anything 128 00:04:52,123 --> 00:04:54,055 even close to celebrating. 129 00:04:54,124 --> 00:04:56,161 Ah, 'twas wonderful. 130 00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:58,730 Well you've given us all a lot to think about. 131 00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,062 And then came the tinsel. 132 00:05:00,164 --> 00:05:02,829 Oh, it's still going. Fun! 133 00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:06,402 How you feeling, babe- you ready? 134 00:05:06,471 --> 00:05:08,701 -Today's the big day. -I'm freaking out, Jay. 135 00:05:08,702 --> 00:05:10,106 You should be nervous. This interview 136 00:05:10,107 --> 00:05:11,306 is huge for both of us. 137 00:05:11,307 --> 00:05:12,805 (chuckles weakly) National television. 138 00:05:12,806 --> 00:05:14,640 Thousands of people could be watching. 139 00:05:14,641 --> 00:05:17,105 -It could be millions. -My God. 140 00:05:17,207 --> 00:05:19,850 The 13 colonies must be bursting at the seams. 141 00:05:19,985 --> 00:05:21,910 Hey, you got this, babe. 142 00:05:21,979 --> 00:05:23,789 And you can put the toothbrush down. 143 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,785 The mayor's car is clean. 144 00:05:25,854 --> 00:05:28,264 Hey, why do you think he drives such a fancy car? 145 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,653 You think he's taking bribes for permits? 146 00:05:30,755 --> 00:05:32,556 "Peppermits"? (giggles) 147 00:05:32,658 --> 00:05:34,961 -Is this helping, Sam? -No. 148 00:05:34,962 --> 00:05:37,633 I'm sorry, Jay, I just really need to collect my thoughts. 149 00:05:37,634 --> 00:05:40,003 All right, but you're gonna do great, babe. 150 00:05:40,138 --> 00:05:42,803 -You think? -I know it. 151 00:05:43,667 --> 00:05:45,770 Oh. "Peppermits." 152 00:05:45,838 --> 00:05:48,109 That's-that's good. Yeah, I get it. 153 00:05:48,178 --> 00:05:50,346 Sam, you got moment? 154 00:05:50,448 --> 00:05:52,348 -She's kind of in a mood. -I'm a little 155 00:05:52,349 --> 00:05:53,945 -busy, Thor. -THORFINN: Just need little help 156 00:05:53,946 --> 00:05:57,519 with Flower gift. Want to ask your opinion. 157 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,685 I'm sure whatever you have in mind is perfect. 158 00:05:59,686 --> 00:06:01,186 Okay, but Thor want to tell you 159 00:06:01,187 --> 00:06:03,791 and then have extensive conversation where you tell Thor 160 00:06:03,792 --> 00:06:06,197 -how you feel about idea. -You know what, Thor, 161 00:06:06,198 --> 00:06:08,367 why don't you just let us all be surprised 162 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,693 so we can experience the gift, whatever it is, 163 00:06:10,694 --> 00:06:12,228 along with Flower. 164 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,920 Yes. Great idea, Isaac. Surprise Flower. Surprise me. 165 00:06:14,967 --> 00:06:17,306 -And have a merry Christmas. -THORFINN: Okay. 166 00:06:17,375 --> 00:06:20,912 And, um... Flower! Come in here. 167 00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:22,671 Oh, it's happening right now. 168 00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:24,706 Hey, Thor, what's up? 169 00:06:24,808 --> 00:06:26,210 Stand there. By Samantha. 170 00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:27,182 Okay. 171 00:06:27,183 --> 00:06:28,543 (grunting softly) 172 00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:30,147 What's going on? 173 00:06:33,484 --> 00:06:34,683 Thor? 174 00:06:34,752 --> 00:06:36,626 Merry Christmas, Flower! 175 00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:40,465 Oh... dear. 176 00:06:44,066 --> 00:06:46,167 Whoa. 177 00:06:46,236 --> 00:06:48,269 Am I wearing a bra? 178 00:06:48,404 --> 00:06:50,805 Hey, who shaved my pits, man? 179 00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:57,941 SAMANTHA: Okay, something very weird is going on. 180 00:06:57,942 --> 00:07:00,250 Is it less pink in here? (sniffs) 181 00:07:00,352 --> 00:07:02,162 Does it smell less like patchouli? 182 00:07:02,220 --> 00:07:04,922 Flower, you are inside of Sam. 183 00:07:05,024 --> 00:07:06,554 This giant animal used 184 00:07:06,555 --> 00:07:08,258 his ghost power to channel electricity 185 00:07:08,259 --> 00:07:09,687 from the Christmas village 186 00:07:09,755 --> 00:07:11,529 and hurl Sam's body through you, 187 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:15,463 thus resulting in yet another Christmas possession. 188 00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:17,964 (gasps) Thor, you did that for me? 189 00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:19,396 Aw. 190 00:07:19,499 --> 00:07:20,901 No! Not "aw." 191 00:07:20,902 --> 00:07:22,903 Samantha has a very important interview about our book 192 00:07:22,904 --> 00:07:25,101 and we need you out of her body, posthaste. 193 00:07:25,203 --> 00:07:28,480 Interview? Uh, Thor not know about interview. 194 00:07:29,312 --> 00:07:31,180 Thor, what did you do? 195 00:07:31,282 --> 00:07:33,017 -Samantha? -Yeah, it's me. 196 00:07:33,018 --> 00:07:34,252 And you're in big trouble. 197 00:07:34,253 --> 00:07:36,617 But you tell Thor to surprise you. 198 00:07:36,618 --> 00:07:38,453 Yes, because I didn't think you meant this. 199 00:07:38,454 --> 00:07:40,456 Okay, so you were surprised. 200 00:07:40,457 --> 00:07:42,560 Sort of seem like mission accomplished. 201 00:07:42,561 --> 00:07:44,971 Now that that misunderstanding is cleared up, 202 00:07:45,056 --> 00:07:46,686 -we can take care of this. -Right. 203 00:07:46,687 --> 00:07:48,793 Okay, Flower, I'm gonna drive you over the boundary 204 00:07:48,794 --> 00:07:50,125 and get you out of my body. 205 00:07:50,227 --> 00:07:52,698 Wait. Flower have munchies for many years. 206 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,173 Please just let her eat one thing. 207 00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,632 Make Thor's Christmas gift complete. 208 00:07:57,768 --> 00:08:00,011 (sighs) Fine. 209 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,046 Flower, you can have one thing. 210 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,528 But then I want my body back, 211 00:08:03,529 --> 00:08:05,575 and I can't keep saying this every Christmas. 212 00:08:05,576 --> 00:08:07,108 (sighs) 213 00:08:07,210 --> 00:08:10,050 Okay, Flower, it's your time to shine. 214 00:08:10,152 --> 00:08:11,982 (grunts) 215 00:08:12,084 --> 00:08:14,789 Whoa. Did it used to be more pink in here? 216 00:08:14,858 --> 00:08:18,993 Flower, take bite of cookie and satisfy munchies. 217 00:08:19,095 --> 00:08:20,730 Okay. 218 00:08:22,197 --> 00:08:23,693 Mmm. 219 00:08:23,828 --> 00:08:27,134 Wow. That is so good. 220 00:08:27,237 --> 00:08:28,698 What's going on? 221 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,067 Flower possess Sam, 222 00:08:30,169 --> 00:08:32,633 part of very generous Christmas gift from Thor. 223 00:08:32,702 --> 00:08:35,411 (grunts) 224 00:08:35,513 --> 00:08:38,279 Okay. Flower, you've had your fun, 225 00:08:38,348 --> 00:08:39,645 but it's time to go. 226 00:08:39,747 --> 00:08:41,247 How long has she been in there? 227 00:08:41,248 --> 00:08:43,580 -Couple of minutes. -What? That's not long enough. 228 00:08:43,581 --> 00:08:45,654 ISAAC: Samantha has a very important interview in an hour 229 00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:47,152 -and she needs to focus. -NANCY: An hour? 230 00:08:47,153 --> 00:08:49,856 That's plenty of time. Flower, listen to me. 231 00:08:49,857 --> 00:08:52,021 Run to the light and shut the door behind you. 232 00:08:52,022 --> 00:08:54,193 No, no, there's not time... 233 00:08:54,295 --> 00:08:56,902 (grunts) 234 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,628 Whoa. Hey, Nancy. 235 00:08:58,697 --> 00:08:59,962 How's it going? 236 00:09:00,064 --> 00:09:01,736 Please excuse my hairless pits. 237 00:09:01,838 --> 00:09:04,571 Okay, Nancy, you're not being helpful right now. 238 00:09:04,673 --> 00:09:06,368 I'm just looking after my girl. 239 00:09:06,470 --> 00:09:09,411 When you possessed that workman back in the 1800s, 240 00:09:09,513 --> 00:09:11,581 you were in that dude for days. 241 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,316 What I do inside a of dude is none of your business. 242 00:09:14,418 --> 00:09:16,349 -Oh... -Everyone stop! 243 00:09:16,418 --> 00:09:18,055 This not problem. 244 00:09:18,157 --> 00:09:19,419 Flower can have her fun 245 00:09:19,554 --> 00:09:20,754 then before interview, 246 00:09:20,822 --> 00:09:23,057 she leaves Sam body. Right, Flower? 247 00:09:23,192 --> 00:09:25,027 Wait. 248 00:09:25,130 --> 00:09:26,429 Where she go? 249 00:09:26,531 --> 00:09:28,829 Flower has absconded with Sam's body. 250 00:09:28,898 --> 00:09:32,037 Hell yeah! Drive it like you stole it, Flower. 251 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,533 (laughs): Oh! Whoo! 252 00:09:34,635 --> 00:09:37,409 You disgust me, fat man. 253 00:09:37,511 --> 00:09:41,173 Oh. Hey, Patience. Oh, you left just in time. 254 00:09:41,174 --> 00:09:43,482 They're upstairs singing "The Twelve Days of Christmas." 255 00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:45,881 -I had to get out of there. -Trevor also 256 00:09:45,882 --> 00:09:48,654 have disdain for the vile celebration of this holiday? 257 00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:50,515 Well, I didn't want to say anything in front of 258 00:09:50,516 --> 00:09:52,721 the others. I prefer to let you corner the wet blanket market. 259 00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:54,850 Oh, thank you. 'Tis kind of my thing. 260 00:09:54,952 --> 00:09:56,428 But, if I'm being honest, 261 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,358 I'm not the biggest fan of Christmas either. 262 00:09:58,359 --> 00:09:59,697 Really? 263 00:09:59,698 --> 00:10:01,625 I was, like, the only Jewish kid in my town growing up. 264 00:10:01,626 --> 00:10:03,960 And so, when the holidays rolled around, I always felt a little 265 00:10:03,961 --> 00:10:05,393 like I didn't belong. 266 00:10:05,394 --> 00:10:07,565 And in elementary school, every Christmas pageant, 267 00:10:07,566 --> 00:10:11,274 they made me stand up alone and sing "Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel." 268 00:10:11,376 --> 00:10:13,469 Ugh. Patience understands. 269 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:17,346 It's like that winter when I was spared from the great pox 270 00:10:17,448 --> 00:10:20,313 but all of my siblings perished. 271 00:10:20,448 --> 00:10:22,049 Why not me? 272 00:10:22,989 --> 00:10:24,880 Yeah. Um... 273 00:10:24,982 --> 00:10:26,419 not exactly the same. 274 00:10:26,488 --> 00:10:28,425 Oh. (chuckles) 275 00:10:28,527 --> 00:10:30,755 Thank you for talking with me, Trevor. 276 00:10:30,857 --> 00:10:34,595 Patience is... enjoying herself. 277 00:10:34,664 --> 00:10:36,625 Yeah. But not too much, right? 278 00:10:36,727 --> 00:10:37,777 (laughs) 279 00:10:37,829 --> 00:10:39,936 Thou gets it. 280 00:10:40,004 --> 00:10:43,571 So, yeah, Flower's running around in a brand new Sam suit. 281 00:10:43,639 --> 00:10:45,267 Oh, that lucky son of a bitch. 282 00:10:45,369 --> 00:10:47,575 -Mark, that could have been us. -(scoffs) 283 00:10:47,643 --> 00:10:49,777 Oh, hi, Mark. Hey, David. 284 00:10:49,879 --> 00:10:53,414 Is that Woodstone? That looks amazing. 285 00:10:53,482 --> 00:10:54,849 I helped build it. 286 00:10:54,850 --> 00:10:56,486 We've been working on it for the last few weeks. 287 00:10:56,487 --> 00:10:57,985 My kid wants to be a contractor, 288 00:10:57,986 --> 00:10:59,457 so we started with a gingerbread house. 289 00:10:59,458 --> 00:11:01,021 What do we say after we're done? 290 00:11:01,022 --> 00:11:03,455 -We'll send you an invoice. -(Jay laughs) 291 00:11:03,558 --> 00:11:04,825 That is so cute. 292 00:11:04,826 --> 00:11:06,523 But you're not really charging me, right? 293 00:11:06,524 --> 00:11:08,430 -No, it's a gift. Merry Christmas. -(door opens) 294 00:11:08,431 --> 00:11:10,167 -(exhales) -Hi. 295 00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:12,129 Gary from All Day USA. 296 00:11:12,198 --> 00:11:14,188 We're here to interview Sam Arondekar. 297 00:11:14,189 --> 00:11:16,038 -That's gonna be difficult. -Great. Well, I'm Jay. 298 00:11:16,039 --> 00:11:20,111 I'm Sam's husband. Uh, yeah, she was around here. Sam! 299 00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:22,179 (soft chuckle) Sam! 300 00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,545 I'll just go look for her. 301 00:11:23,647 --> 00:11:25,477 Follow the smell of burning bras. 302 00:11:25,580 --> 00:11:27,246 You'll find her. 303 00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:31,314 Amanda, you're an amazing person. 304 00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:33,657 And the love that you put out into the universe 305 00:11:33,658 --> 00:11:35,786 is gonna come back to you tenfold. 306 00:11:35,855 --> 00:11:38,594 Oh. Wow, thank you. 307 00:11:38,595 --> 00:11:40,227 I had no idea you were so spiritual. 308 00:11:40,228 --> 00:11:43,597 Yeah, I once slept with the Dalai Lama's brother. 309 00:11:43,598 --> 00:11:45,031 What is happening right now? 310 00:11:45,032 --> 00:11:47,362 I'd say Samantha got into my laudanum, 311 00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:50,102 but I don't think it has that kind of shelf life. 312 00:11:50,204 --> 00:11:53,108 SAMANTHA: Oh. Hey, Gabe. How's it going, man? 313 00:11:53,210 --> 00:11:54,260 Good. 314 00:11:54,338 --> 00:11:56,414 Say, listen, do you know anywhere 315 00:11:56,415 --> 00:11:58,183 that someone could score around here? 316 00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:00,075 Aw, I just cook. 317 00:12:00,210 --> 00:12:02,014 Oh, come on, Gabe. I'm cool. 318 00:12:02,083 --> 00:12:04,181 I heard pot's a lot stronger these days. 319 00:12:04,283 --> 00:12:06,683 I haven't smoked any since the sixties. 320 00:12:06,786 --> 00:12:08,591 How old are you? 321 00:12:08,693 --> 00:12:10,656 Oh, my God, the crazy bastard did it. 322 00:12:10,725 --> 00:12:12,296 Flower, is that you? 323 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:14,198 Yeah, it's me. Hi, guys. 324 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:15,833 -What? -Oh, sorry, 325 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,552 I was just talking to my friend who used to be a virgin. 326 00:12:18,569 --> 00:12:19,930 But he's invisible to you. 327 00:12:20,066 --> 00:12:22,670 Okay. I want what you have. 328 00:12:22,738 --> 00:12:24,358 Why is the virgin thing germane? 329 00:12:24,408 --> 00:12:25,942 What is going on? 330 00:12:25,943 --> 00:12:28,370 Thor wanted to help Flower possess someone for Christmas, 331 00:12:28,371 --> 00:12:30,204 -and I guess he did it. -Oh... 332 00:12:30,306 --> 00:12:32,678 So, can you hook it up or not? 333 00:12:32,780 --> 00:12:34,716 Look, I have something, 334 00:12:34,785 --> 00:12:36,415 but it might be a little intense. 335 00:12:36,515 --> 00:12:39,858 (scoffs) Dude, I used to party with Bobby and Jerry. 336 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,689 I hugged a bear after Woodstock and lived to talk about it. 337 00:12:43,758 --> 00:12:45,120 No, no, you didn't. 338 00:12:45,255 --> 00:12:46,854 The point is I can handle it. 339 00:12:46,956 --> 00:12:48,793 Okay. 340 00:12:48,928 --> 00:12:50,401 It's called Mistletoe. 341 00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:52,066 -Whoa. -GABE: You just put this 342 00:12:52,067 --> 00:12:54,196 under your tongue and when you see God, 343 00:12:54,264 --> 00:12:56,132 tell him Gabe said, "What's up?" 344 00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:58,109 -Flower, here comes Jay. -(gasps) 345 00:12:58,244 --> 00:13:00,376 -Who? -Um, God? 346 00:13:00,445 --> 00:13:01,739 Our heavenly father? 347 00:13:01,808 --> 00:13:03,075 There you are. 348 00:13:03,076 --> 00:13:04,614 We got to get you back to the house, Sam. 349 00:13:04,615 --> 00:13:06,308 What are you doing back here? 350 00:13:06,309 --> 00:13:08,310 Oh, I was just getting drugs from Gabe. 351 00:13:08,311 --> 00:13:10,011 (laughs) That's hilarious. 352 00:13:10,113 --> 00:13:11,680 Come on, let's go. 353 00:13:12,366 --> 00:13:15,326 We should probably go watch this. 354 00:13:15,327 --> 00:13:17,219 Oh, hell yeah. 355 00:13:17,321 --> 00:13:19,289 So, then I said to Goody Mather 356 00:13:19,391 --> 00:13:21,455 that I could finish the quilt by sunrise. 357 00:13:21,557 --> 00:13:23,898 Oh, my candle did burn low that night. 358 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,667 I love it. You got that grind mentality. 359 00:13:26,803 --> 00:13:28,334 -You knoweth it. -I got to say, 360 00:13:28,436 --> 00:13:31,206 Patience, even though this is not my favorite season, 361 00:13:31,301 --> 00:13:33,240 I'm having a pretty good time. 362 00:13:33,308 --> 00:13:36,344 I guess it's true what they say: misery loves company. 363 00:13:36,479 --> 00:13:38,210 Oh, indeed. 364 00:13:38,312 --> 00:13:40,681 She also loved making little corn husk dolls. 365 00:13:40,816 --> 00:13:42,410 And saying the Lord's Prayer. 366 00:13:42,479 --> 00:13:44,553 Misery was a woman of many hobbies. 367 00:13:44,655 --> 00:13:46,114 (laughs) You're meshugana. 368 00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:47,456 (gasps) What's that? 369 00:13:47,525 --> 00:13:49,525 Oh, it's a Yiddish word. 370 00:13:49,661 --> 00:13:51,354 Yiddish is sort of like Hebrew. 371 00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:54,057 I've always had an interest in Hebrew. 372 00:13:54,159 --> 00:13:56,667 You know, the language He spoke. 373 00:13:56,769 --> 00:13:58,939 Well, I don't really know that much Hebrew. 374 00:13:58,998 --> 00:14:00,095 I can count to ten. 375 00:14:00,197 --> 00:14:01,867 Oh. I would very much 376 00:14:01,969 --> 00:14:03,634 like to hear that sometime. 377 00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:06,810 It's cool that you're so interested in Jewish stuff. 378 00:14:06,811 --> 00:14:09,373 I know a little about Puritan stuff. 379 00:14:09,475 --> 00:14:11,645 I went on a field trip to a colonial village 380 00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:14,218 in the fifth grade. My favorite part: 381 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,443 the butter churning. 382 00:14:15,444 --> 00:14:17,113 -Mm. -But I could never quite get it. 383 00:14:17,114 --> 00:14:18,822 -The... -Oh. 384 00:14:18,925 --> 00:14:21,592 (laughs): You're not gonna get butter like that. 385 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,444 No, 'tis less of a circular motion 386 00:14:23,495 --> 00:14:25,092 and more like this. 387 00:14:25,194 --> 00:14:28,495 One, two, three. 'Tis important to keep a rhythm. 388 00:14:28,598 --> 00:14:31,401 One, two, three. 389 00:14:31,503 --> 00:14:33,394 Perhaps count with me, 390 00:14:33,496 --> 00:14:35,434 in the language of your people. 391 00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:37,832 If that's what you want. 392 00:14:38,676 --> 00:14:41,111 Echad, shtayim, shalosh... 393 00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:42,378 Slower. 394 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,214 Echad, shtayim, 395 00:14:45,316 --> 00:14:46,417 shalosh. 396 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,515 I think the butter is firming. 397 00:14:48,618 --> 00:14:49,954 Hell yeah it is. 398 00:14:52,486 --> 00:14:55,359 You know, makeup is just a tool the patriarchy uses 399 00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,089 to keep women down, man. 400 00:14:57,191 --> 00:15:00,596 -Are you okay, babe? -(chuckles) Oh! 401 00:15:00,731 --> 00:15:04,033 Wow. Your beard is so soft. 402 00:15:04,135 --> 00:15:07,838 Okay. Thor very happy you like Christmas present, 403 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,704 but time to let Sam do interview now, Flower. 404 00:15:10,806 --> 00:15:12,539 And... she's asleep. 405 00:15:12,642 --> 00:15:14,137 JAY: Babe? 406 00:15:14,239 --> 00:15:16,543 They're ready for you, Sam. 407 00:15:16,646 --> 00:15:17,906 (whispers): Sam! 408 00:15:18,008 --> 00:15:19,417 (gasps) 409 00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:21,415 -You ready? -Yeah, man. 410 00:15:21,517 --> 00:15:23,152 Groovy. 411 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,252 This is gonna be a train wreck. 412 00:15:26,354 --> 00:15:28,988 All right, here we are. Walter, this is Sam. 413 00:15:29,091 --> 00:15:31,527 Hey. Walter Storm, All Day USA. 414 00:15:31,629 --> 00:15:32,960 Very nice to meet you. 415 00:15:32,961 --> 00:15:34,624 I had them set us up here in front of 416 00:15:34,625 --> 00:15:36,696 this gingerbread house. Pretty cool, huh? 417 00:15:36,697 --> 00:15:37,926 Cool. 418 00:15:38,061 --> 00:15:39,370 Okay. 419 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,934 Babe, you got this. 420 00:15:42,036 --> 00:15:43,541 Someone get him out of the shot. 421 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:46,238 (grunts) Jay! Flower's inside me. 422 00:15:46,307 --> 00:15:48,612 -Do something. -Oh, uh, hey, actually, 423 00:15:48,613 --> 00:15:50,273 can we just have five more minutes? 424 00:15:50,274 --> 00:15:52,414 Nope. We're live in five, 425 00:15:52,517 --> 00:15:54,108 four, three... 426 00:15:54,210 --> 00:15:56,480 (mouthing) 427 00:15:56,481 --> 00:15:59,156 And we're live here with author Samantha Arondekar 428 00:15:59,157 --> 00:16:01,821 to talk to her about her historical fiction book 429 00:16:01,822 --> 00:16:03,319 -about vampires. -(gasps) 430 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,119 Oh, no! Not vampires. 431 00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:06,822 They're scary. 432 00:16:09,453 --> 00:16:14,506 What kind of historical research did you do for the novel? 433 00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,899 -Um, seven. -What? 434 00:16:17,001 --> 00:16:18,671 Teen. 435 00:16:18,773 --> 00:16:20,342 Seventeen. 436 00:16:20,478 --> 00:16:21,775 I'm sorry? 437 00:16:21,877 --> 00:16:23,139 Tell him you unearthed 438 00:16:23,241 --> 00:16:25,075 previously undiscovered 439 00:16:25,177 --> 00:16:27,012 primary source documents. 440 00:16:27,148 --> 00:16:29,418 I found something in the earth. 441 00:16:29,521 --> 00:16:31,022 Was that good? 442 00:16:32,690 --> 00:16:35,416 Uh, moving on to theme. 443 00:16:35,485 --> 00:16:37,089 What was it about vampires 444 00:16:37,191 --> 00:16:38,894 that, uh, piqued your interest? 445 00:16:38,996 --> 00:16:42,056 Whoa. Is that a giant cookie house? 446 00:16:42,158 --> 00:16:43,727 (gasps) 447 00:16:44,809 --> 00:16:48,935 What is she doing to the gingerbread house? 448 00:16:48,936 --> 00:16:50,905 I... I don't know. 449 00:16:51,008 --> 00:16:52,875 Thor, the chimney tastes amazing. 450 00:16:52,977 --> 00:16:55,275 Okay, sweetie, I think that's enough. 451 00:16:55,344 --> 00:16:57,842 -No... -Hey, get your own cookie house, man! 452 00:16:57,944 --> 00:16:59,274 Um, Sam... 453 00:16:59,343 --> 00:17:01,685 (Samantha grunting) 454 00:17:01,686 --> 00:17:02,884 -It's like watching Godzilla -Oh! 455 00:17:02,885 --> 00:17:04,084 trample Candy Land. 456 00:17:04,186 --> 00:17:05,955 -Okay. The book is -No... Sam, Sam... 457 00:17:06,057 --> 00:17:08,352 Isaac Higgintooth: Colonial Vampire. 458 00:17:08,454 --> 00:17:10,956 Available online and at bookstores now. 459 00:17:11,025 --> 00:17:12,491 Pick up yours today. 460 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,433 Impressive composure under difficult circumstances. 461 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,465 -He's a pro. -Mm. 462 00:17:18,201 --> 00:17:20,191 SASAPPIS: You made out with Patience? 463 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,700 There was Hebrew and churning. 464 00:17:21,701 --> 00:17:23,774 Things got out of hand. We just couldn't stop ourselves. 465 00:17:23,775 --> 00:17:26,303 This is a wild turn of events. 466 00:17:26,304 --> 00:17:28,140 And now I'm freaking out because, 467 00:17:28,141 --> 00:17:29,713 you know, it's Patience. 468 00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:31,981 Puritans don't do casual hookups. 469 00:17:31,982 --> 00:17:33,981 She probably thinks we're engaged now. 470 00:17:33,982 --> 00:17:35,876 Trevor, we need to speak. 471 00:17:35,978 --> 00:17:38,916 I wanted to talketh about what happened earlier. 472 00:17:39,018 --> 00:17:41,183 About our... 473 00:17:41,252 --> 00:17:43,253 sensual union. 474 00:17:43,389 --> 00:17:45,327 -I should go. -Please stay. 475 00:17:45,395 --> 00:17:48,957 I hath prayed on it, and I have come to the conclusion... 476 00:17:50,230 --> 00:17:51,831 ...that we cannot be together. 477 00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:53,437 Oh. I mean... 478 00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:55,738 Oh, no. Why not? 479 00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,104 I do not want to hurt you. 480 00:17:57,206 --> 00:18:00,437 But we come from two different worlds. 481 00:18:00,438 --> 00:18:02,112 I do not think it could ever work out. 482 00:18:02,113 --> 00:18:05,342 Well, I was hoping for something serious, 483 00:18:05,410 --> 00:18:07,412 but if that's how you feel... 484 00:18:07,413 --> 00:18:09,511 PATIENCE: I wish there was some other way, 485 00:18:09,512 --> 00:18:12,356 for I am sad as well. 486 00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:14,125 Goodbye, Trevor. 487 00:18:18,190 --> 00:18:19,656 No harm, no foul. 488 00:18:19,657 --> 00:18:22,032 Yeah, except you just got dumped by Patience. 489 00:18:22,033 --> 00:18:23,696 Any chance that stays between us? 490 00:18:23,697 --> 00:18:26,361 Well, would it be embarrassing for you if it got out? 491 00:18:26,463 --> 00:18:28,634 -A little. -Then no. 492 00:18:28,635 --> 00:18:30,742 -(engine starts) -JAY: Okay, Sam- 493 00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:32,473 I mean Flower- here we go. 494 00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:38,612 (grunts) 495 00:18:38,747 --> 00:18:40,041 Oh... 496 00:18:41,148 --> 00:18:43,649 Yay! They're back. 497 00:18:44,547 --> 00:18:45,988 I said I was sorry, Sam. 498 00:18:46,123 --> 00:18:48,621 I don't want to hear it, Flower. And you. 499 00:18:48,723 --> 00:18:51,962 -I can't believe you, Thor. -That was not cool, big guy. 500 00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,992 Thor very sorry. But maybe somehow this... 501 00:18:55,128 --> 00:18:56,424 help book sales. 502 00:18:56,493 --> 00:18:58,261 Maybe now Sam sort of... 503 00:18:58,330 --> 00:19:01,071 Hawk Tuah girl of books. 504 00:19:01,139 --> 00:19:03,665 You guys knew today was a big deal for me. 505 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,073 Why didn't anyone do anything to help? 506 00:19:06,176 --> 00:19:07,986 Oh, but Samantha, what could we do? 507 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,245 -We're ghosts. -You know we love you, Sam. 508 00:19:10,246 --> 00:19:12,351 We screwed up. But can we just get to the part 509 00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:15,016 where you forgive us and we can all have a Merry Christmas? 510 00:19:15,017 --> 00:19:17,084 No. Not this time. 511 00:19:17,152 --> 00:19:19,755 Because that interview aired. 512 00:19:19,857 --> 00:19:21,119 And just like you guys, 513 00:19:21,221 --> 00:19:22,688 it'll be around forever. 514 00:19:22,689 --> 00:19:25,426 Don't know why we need to drag our immortality into this. 515 00:19:25,427 --> 00:19:28,360 Babe, let's just go to sleep and calm down. 516 00:19:28,462 --> 00:19:30,462 -And tomorrow's another day. -Exactly. 517 00:19:30,564 --> 00:19:33,231 It's another day of living with this curse. 518 00:19:33,333 --> 00:19:34,653 Another chance for a ghost 519 00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:36,810 to ruin something that's important to me. 520 00:19:37,439 --> 00:19:39,801 God, I wish I had never gotten this power. 521 00:19:39,903 --> 00:19:43,104 I wish I had never been able to see ghosts. 522 00:19:46,910 --> 00:19:50,612 Did Flower at least like Christmas gift? 523 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,520 (gasps) What'd you get me? 524 00:19:53,388 --> 00:19:56,019 You don't remember possessing Sam? 525 00:19:56,121 --> 00:19:57,224 What? 526 00:19:57,326 --> 00:19:59,855 No. Oh, but that would have been amazing. 527 00:19:59,957 --> 00:20:02,893 I have had the munchies for, like, 50 years. 528 00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:12,441 ? ? 529 00:20:18,979 --> 00:20:20,614 Jay? 530 00:20:24,150 --> 00:20:25,784 Hey, guys. 531 00:20:27,551 --> 00:20:29,926 Oh. Okay, I see. 532 00:20:30,028 --> 00:20:32,296 Giving me the silent treatment? 533 00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:34,328 (exclaims) 534 00:20:34,430 --> 00:20:37,466 Don't mind Thor, Thor not sitting there. 535 00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:42,240 What the hell? 536 00:20:43,001 --> 00:20:50,913 Captioning sponsored by CBS 537 00:20:50,914 --> 00:20:53,615 and TOYOTA. 538 00:20:53,616 --> 00:20:57,194 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 539 00:20:57,195 --> 00:21:01,745 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0